It can be easy to feel isolated if you have depression. Due to stigma, many people still don’t talk about mental health issues which can lead friends or loved ones to feel even more alone. Corey Iredale, from Mates Incorporated, opens up about mental health with PHIL KETTLE.

FIFTY-two-year-old Corey Iredale believes he has been suffering in silence from anxiety and depression for most of his life.

But, like lots of other people, he found ways of hiding how he was feeling.

“You become so good at finding a way of hiding your problem that very few people, even those that are closet to you, know," he said.

"Men are the worst, always able to put on a front, feeling that it’s a sign of some sort of weakness if you talk about the way you’re feeling.”

For Mr Iredale, everything came to a head on Saturday, September 23 last year.

“I’d spent the night at my place, in our outdoor area with two very good mates," he said.

"My footy team had just lost the preliminary final and for them the season was finished.

"I love my footy and I love my team and I was feeling felt pretty dejected about the loss, but after a few more drinks we were having a bit of a laugh about the day."

One of the mates decided to share a drink recipe that he’d seen, a Corona sunrise or something similarly ridiculous.

"We drank more than we should have and the more we drank the more we laughed," he said.

"For some reason, and I’m still not sure why, I interrupted our jovial conversation and said 'boys, I can’t do it anymore. I’m so tired, I’m worn out and fighting the urge to kill myself is wearing me down'.

"What the hell were they supposed to say to that? They’re not therapists, or counsellors or even that good at talking about their own emotions, how were they meant to offer support or give guidance to their mate, who everyone thought had life worked out?”

Many people may find it difficult to understand or comprehend what people think of them, mostly because they never say so.

Some can spend their lives guessing what is going through their heads which can cause anxiety and may lead to depression and even suicidal thoughts and ideations.

“After lots of alcohol, I took my chance and threw it all out on the table for mates to problem-solve and, as two genuine, caring Aussie mates, they tried their best," Mr Iredale said.

Possibly dealing with their own life issues, the mates were not able to come to reach a unanimous answer.

“The Sunday passed like so many have for me; hungover, tired, highly anxious and in fear of something bad happening," he said.

"I survived the day and fortunately had an appointment with my GP the following day.

"As I sat in the waiting room, I thought to myself 'I’m talking to her about what’s going on in my head'.

"We sat and as many doctors do she asked how I was, and what was happening with me.

"Well, I unleashed into a five or six-minute monologue about how I’d been experiencing an overwhelming desire to end my life and I didn’t know why."

After pondering for a moment and asking a few questions, the GP asked Mr Iredale if he would like to try medication that could help reduce suicidal thoughts and reduce his anxiety.

"Already I felt a little better; my feelings now had a name, my doctor felt that I was experiencing anxiety and depression and a week later I returned for a check in.

"This time, my wife Jacki came along with me for support.

"Jacki asked some educated questions of my GP including about creating a mental health plan for me.

"I was so glad that the person that I have loved for 31 years was sitting beside me and had heard everything that was discussed.

"A referral to visit a psychologist was recommended and the thought of meeting with a psychologist had me feeling excited, but also unsure, but it was the best thing I could have done.”

Mr Iredale’s mental health and wellbeing, due to a combination of prescribed medication and understanding of what was required to help lead a better life, has made him aware that there are many others suffering just like he was and, just like he, were suffering in silence.

After much thought and research about depression, he found that in 2022 there were 3200 deaths from suicide in Australia and that 75 per cent were male, while there were also 65,000 attempted suicides.

"I could have easily been one of those and I knew I needed to help.

"After much thought, I created a private Facebook group called Mates Incorporated because I felt that there just wasn’t enough help in the Mallee for blokes to get help when they experience mental health challenges.”

When Mates Incorporated was launched, Mr Iredale thought he might get 20 to 50 blokes join, and seven or so months later there’s almost 1800 blokes in the group with about 1200 from the Mallee.

“We have categorically saved three lives, while we have lost two members which is devastating," he said.

"Men are able to discuss their feeling and get ideas from others.

"It has given men a reason to talk and helped them understand the tools they need to improve their lives.

"I want to change the way everybody thinks about mental health challenges that men face."

Mental Health First Aid Australia runs mental health first aid courses and also trains people to run mental health first aid courses and Mr Iredale wants to undertake the training course to teach members of the local community how to administer mental health first aid.

"If your friend or loved one is feeling like they’re a burden or unworthy of your love, it can help to remind them that you’re going to be there for them always, not just when things are going well," he said.

Anyone requiring urgent help can call Lifeline's 24-hour number, 13 11 14. For crisis support, call Beyond Blue, 1300 224 636, headspace, 1800 650 890.