A GROUP of my old cricket mates took to Facebook this week to blame the media for its treatment of Australian cricketer Tim Paine.
Some described the journos as “grubby” for digging up “an old story” of how Paine sent unsolicited dick pics (sorry, gross and repugnant, I know, but isn’t that the point?) to a female Cricket Tasmania employee in 2017.
After a Cricket Tasmania investigation, it was found there was no breach (not sure what constitutes a breach in professional cricket?) and the issue was quietly buried, allowing Paine to ascend to the captaincy of his country.
My mates agreed with how this was all handled by cricket authorities and blamed the media (and not Paine?) for tarnishing his legacy, as if he were the victim here.
Um, really?
While I don’t typically engage in Facebook debates, I had to call out my mates on this one.
You see, I get it fellas, it’s easier to blame the mainstream media than to accept the failings of your high-profile sporting heroes. But the mainstream media is there to report the truth, not to maintain fairytale narratives about the characters of these highly paid stars.
Was the media also to blame for Shane Warne taking a banned substance, or for he and Mark Waugh chatting with an Indian bookie before a game? Or did the blame instead lie with the individuals themselves?
I was slammed for expressing my conflicting views, with one bloke even suggesting the female employee should share responsibility in the Tim Paine sexting saga.
All of this reaffirmed to me why the media was right to expose the story.
Attitudes need to change from grassroots level to the very top.
My old mates come from a proud club that now has many female players, so maybe they could ask themselves this question:
If a player in our club sends an unsolicited dick pic (sorry, gross and repugnant I know) to a female member and that female member has the courage to lodge a formal complaint, what would the club do?
Would the club find that player to have officially done nothing wrong, keep the matter strictly confidential and then elevate that male player to the position of captain on the basis of his good character? Because that in a nutshell is what has happened here.
Consider, just for a minute, how that must make the woman feel?
Maybe, instead of talking among themselves, these cricket blokes should seek the opinions of some females on the issue.
One female friend of mine, who has long been a cricket wife and mum and comes from a position of serving countless afternoon teas for the men over the years, said none of the behaviour or responses shocked her.
Why, she asked, would some men want to see that power base shifted when it suits them just fine?
As for some men minimising the actions of sending an unwanted dick pic (sorry, I know, gross), well, she explained, that speaks to a wider issue of disrespect for women.
Two female newspaper columnists wrote this week about receiving numerous unwanted “dick pics”, and had a strong message for men.
“Before the digital age and social media apps, such as Snapchat and Instagram, ‘flashing’ your genitals was considered a vile sex crime,” wrote Suzan Delibasic in The Herald Sun.
“But increasingly, boys and men feel it is OK to send ‘dick pics’ to often shocked and reviled casual acquaintances, workmates and even strangers, generally women.
“How is this acceptable? It’s intimidating, reflects male entitlement and verges on sexual assault.”
And then this from Kerri Sackville in The Age.
“Showing a woman your penis without asking for consent is aggressive and intimidating and smacks of male entitlement,” she wrote. “An unsolicited dick pic is a harbinger of sexual assault; if you can force a woman to look at your erection, you have no regard for her boundaries, her sensibilities, or her dignity as a person.
“Men, if we women want to see your penis, I promise we will ask. And if we don’t ask, for God’s sake, just leave it in your pants.”
I love my cricket and enjoy catching up with my mates from my old club down south.
But lads, let’s not kid ourselves, we have a long way to go. That’s the story.
