MILDURA is fortunate to boast a number of strong women in leadership positions.
Not just our state and federal MPs, Ali Cupper and Anne Webster, but in chief executive roles across some of our key community organisations. One of our top cops is Rebecca Olsen, Teresa Jayet has long been the respected boss at Mallee Family Care, Alison Walker is the head of intensive care who oversaw our COVID response at the hospital, the list goes on and on.
But let’s not kid ourselves, we still have a long way to go in terms of gender equality,
A Gannawarra Shire councillor this week made what were described as “horrifically misogynistic” Facebook comments after video emerged of Richmond footballer Dustin Martin touching a woman’s breast.
“I’d be more worried if he didn’t go in for a feel,” wrote Cr Garner Smith on a Yahoo post.
When the comment was met by some social media backlash, Smith responded: “To all you triggered, whinging, whining, bleating, bitching, offended losers, instead of getting a skinny soy latte with a twist of lemon, head to your local independent hardware store, buy a bag of cement and harden the #@&! up”.
But while most normal folk find such language appalling, some men still don’t.
In fact, some even took to our Facebook page to question why the councillor’s comments were an issue at all.
“Must be a slow news day,” one male reader wrote. “Councillor has an opinion. Wow … next,” wrote another man who seemingly has no issue with a community leader saying he’d be “more worried” if a man “didn’t go in for a feel” of a woman’s breast without permission.
Honestly, who are these people?
Sunraysia Daily approached Ms Cupper and another strong female leader in our community, Kim O’Reilly, for their responses to Cr Smith’s comments.
Kim, a domestic violence survivor, anti-violence crusader and 2022 Victoria Australian of the Year nominee, admitted she was “disgusted” that a community leader would hold women in such low regard.
“What example is he setting?,” she asked. “Men in power can do as they please, behave as they please?”
Ms Cupper, who held the gender equality portfolio when she was a Mildura councillor, said while it was important that women in leadership positions like herself had a voice on these issues, “a moment like this really calls for the blokes to step up”.
She is right, it’s on us men to be better.
So, as a middle-aged bloke who loves a beer and his footy, here goes:
Garner, I’ve never met you, but that you could in any way condone a man “going in for a feel” of a woman’s breast without consent is completely wrong, and, frankly creepy, irrespective of whether it was a strip club. It smacks of male entitlement no matter which way you frame it. Remember, too, this is a star footballer and role model to many young boys whose behaviour you are vindicating.
I don’t know if you are a father of daughters, or an uncle of nieces, but I am. And we as men should never accept that they be devalued or touched without their consent. I expect them to be respected always. We all should.
As Kim O’Reilly noted this week: “It’s NEVER ok to put your hands on someone else.”
So perhaps rather than telling us all to “harden the #@&! up” for calling you out on your comments, you could actually look in the mirror, and own your behaviour.
As Ali Cupper noted, there is nothing tough about those views, they are “sad and pathetic”.
If you can’t understand that, then perhaps enrol in a respect for women course and learn why such comments have no place in our society.
As a man, change starts with you.
